Source: Forum
Author: Tina
Maybe the question is awkwardly worded, but the short answer, in my opinion, would ideally be to treat everyone the way you want to be treated.
But not everything in life is ideal. The vast majority of people have prejudices against other cultures.
I arrived at the first contract as the youngest member of the crew without prejudice, naively believing that if I was like that, if I respected the people around me, I would be respected in return, regardless of nation, race, gender or rank.
In fact, it was mostly like that. I made friends with girls and boys from Serbia, BiH, Ukraine, Romania, Mauritius, India, Indonesia, Russia, etc. There are some really positive and interesting people who, if I hadn’t gone on the ship, I would never have met. There’s nothing better than finishing your shift and then find yourself in the crew bar or at open deck and talk about your life outside the ship, your plans for the future (in short, anything but work talk).
Unfortunately, there were some people who were nice just in the beginning, greeted me and helped me. They were colleagues and managers in my department, mostly from India, Jamaica and the Philippines. Maybe they thought they were heroes, because they helped me for a few minutes, me being on a cruise ship for the first time, so they took it upon themselves to invite me on a date, to go to dinner, to watch movies.
In my case, no matter how I refused them, politely or harshly, it had the same result. They suddenly became vampires, they did everything to make my work and life in general difficult. I was referred to the maitre’d for everything I did wrong, if something fell on the floor, or if I went to the toilet without permission. They made up some stories and spread them around, dramas about how I actually pursued them and jumped on them, but those martyrs rejected me, or that they slept with me, and then they rejected me.
I say frankly that it never occurred to me to enter into any kind of relationship with anyone, especially not with people I worked with in the same department.
I had an Indian manager for the last month of my contract who openly hated me. Whenever she saw me, she would eyeball me from head to toe, she would comment that my hair was too long, that I should tighten it, that I should fix the braid, the hair clip, nothing worked for her. I was the only one she told that to. She gave me 2 warnings in the last 5 days on the ship before disembarking, I wasn’t even informed about the second warning until I came to the second contract where I was told about it. The reasons for the warning were totally irrelevant and did not affect the service or colleagues or anything, but were imaginary reasons. She blurted out to me once in our first conversation, I remember it to this day: “why are you doing this job, you are white, you could be with an officer and have a good life”.
Today, when I tell friends or colleagues about it, it sounds funny, but then it wasn’t like that at all.
I locked myself in the cabin, I didn’t go anywhere, not even to the crew mess, I threw up before work due to stress.
That’s my experience with them in a nutshell. I’m not very eloquent.
I had no prejudices then. Do I have prejudices against those nations today? I keep my opinion to myself. When I meet someone new from those countries, sometimes I remember their paesanos, and I feel sick.
Now, I would be a hypocrite today if I gave myself the right to condemn someone I know for 5 minutes.
I try to give everyone the respect I want in return. Most will show their true face. I follow the eyes, whether the smile is sincere or fake, the look, the body language, there are always actors on board and off board. Everyone deserves a chance, which is what I would advise you who will soon be on a cruise ship for the first time or are thinking about it.
Give them a chance, you never know, maybe you’ll make a good friend or colleague, maybe that Filipino or Indonesian will help you in your career on board more than a Croat or Serb (just an example)